Abigail Bruffy

Tell us about yourself! What do you do for a living? What are your interests? What are your pronouns?

My name is Abigail and I am a big ol’ lesbian! Due to the pandemic, I am currently between jobs but I typically work in entertainment advertising and movie trailers. I hope to one day leave the entertainment industry and open a coffee shop in my hometown. I’ve spent most of the pandemic learning as much as I can about coffee. As far as my interests, my brain is constantly thinking about baseball so I think that’s more of an obsession than an interest. My pronouns are she/her!

About how old were you when you came out? How was the climate you grew up in?

I was 17 when I came out to my best friend while in my Isuzu Rodeo Sport. She is one of the most lovely people I’ve been lucky enough to know. She knew something had been on my mind for months. I came out to my parents about six months later. I had a fairly religious upbringing. My coming out to my family led to many extremely hard years with them and a strained relationship. This led me to move to Los Angeles and live with my brother after I graduated college. Now things between my parents and siblings are the complete opposite. From the outside looking in you’d never know at one point we were fighting constantly. I think we’ve all forgiven each other and I’m thankful to be at the point where my mom is making gay jokes about me to my wife. 

Did you make career choices that allowed you to feel comfortable being open about your sexuality? (Are you out or feel comfortable being out at your workplace?)

Both yes and no! I had known I wanted to work in entertainment since I was about 14 and I didn’t know my real sexuality until about 17. When I moved to LA and got my first production assistant job I did not keep my relationship with my now wife a secret. In fact, I would argue being a lesbian helped my career because I was lucky enough to work in several offices where I had older mentors who are queer! I think it led to these amazing women wanting to take me under their wing so I could be myself whereas when they were my age they couldn’t. 

If you could tell your younger self something about yourself that you are proud of today, what would it be?

Dearest Lil Ab, you have a really hot wife and a really cute dog named Eugene. You don’t have to keep molding yourself into someone you think people want like you’ve always done. You moved to LA and found your little family and did a lot of cool things. Keep taking risks you’re in no way prepared for- they’ve worked out so far!

Have you tried to surround yourself with like-minded peers/colleagues? If so, how? 

Absolutely! It’s not always possible so just try your best. As you get older you have less time for the BS you put up with in high school and even in college. If someone doesn’t make you happy and they make you feel bad about yourself, cut them out! You can’t always avoid it, sometimes you’re going to have to work with real scumbags but I always take that as a challenge. Some people have absolutely no idea how I really feel about them. Just try to be annoyingly likable! It’s a lot less stressful.  

Who were your role models growing up? What tv shows/movies allowed you to feel seen?

My dad and my brother are my biggest role models. They’re these two guys with awesome beards that look tough but they’re the nicest people you’ll ever meet. They never made me feel like I couldn’t do something because I’m a girl. My dad made sure I had my own toolbox by the time I was 10 and showed me there’s always a way to solve a problem if you frustrate yourself enough. My brother challenges me to think outside the box and see things from a different angle. Both taught me to help others as much as I can. As for TV shows/movies that allowed me to feel seen, I know it’s cheesy but I realized I was gay while watching Santana Lopez from Glee be outed. I’m not even kidding when that episode aired it was like a lightbulb went off. I’m very grateful for what Naya Rivera brought to my life and she is extremely missed. 

Complete the sentence, if I knew ____________ back when I was first figuring myself out, I would tell my younger self that 

If I knew I was a lesbian back when I was first figuring myself out I would tell my younger self to remember what you’re worth. You have a lot of stupid choices ahead of you but you make it through each and every one of them. Keep following your heart and being honest. It won’t work out every time, it’s not supposed to. Everything leads you to the person who winds up loving you most in this world and you get back everything you thought you were going to lose.

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