Tell us about yourself! What do you do for a living? What are your interests? What are your pronouns?
My name is Victoria I’m from Miami, Florida. I am a medical assistant, aspiring future PA and I also create content.
About how old were you when you came out? How was the climate you grew up in?
I mean I never necessarily came out I guess like when I think of coming out it’s coming out to your family in a big way. That would have been about in 2018 when I first start dating Lindsay. In African American culture in general the gay community is not as accepted but my family is accepting in different ways they all love Lindsay. My grandmother is very spiritual super Christian so she’ll make a comment here and there is nothing too crazy because she’s also too nice to be direct but she’s definitely said things but overall they love my girlfriend too much even though I don’t know how accepting they are. It’s never been too much, besides my direct family I’ve never really had to talk to anyone else that much about it.
Did you make career choices that allowed you to feel comfortable being open about your sexuality? (Are you out or feel comfortable being out at your workplace?)
No, I do not think that I chose my career at least in the medical field based on my sexuality. It is something that you are still very aware and very cautious about it only because any situation could become hostile once someone knows your sexuality it’s like that scenario of everyone in the break room, talks about their boyfriend dropping them off to work or you casually mention something like that., it can almost change the energy of a room. I’m very comfortable with it but I do know about people that struggle with it because you do mention it and it might change the way someone talks to you or even looks at you. Especially the men in the workplace I definitely had it where every time they talk to me are like, “you’re too pretty to only be dating girls” or “that’s why you need a man” and it just changes the energy and every time I talk to them they’re trying to convert me. Sometimes I just don’t say it just because I don’t feel like talking to them and going off every time I see them.
If you could tell your younger self something about yourself that you are proud of today, what would it be?
I guess I would say I am proud to not care about what other people think. That has been a big change in my life, sexuality-wise- workplace-wise. Just being okay and being completely comfortable and being happy to walk around and hold my girlfriend’s hand in public is a huge step for me I feel like.
Have you tried to surround yourself with like-minded peers/colleagues or has that kind of just happened naturally? If so, how?
Both! I think it happens naturally because I’m very outspoken and very direct and a lot of people can see that. So typically if our views don’t align I don’t seem to find myself friends with those people. Other than that, I pretty much surround myself with people that are accepting. Like I said, even though my family doesn’t talk too much about my sexuality in a direct way they’re all very accepting. Like in terms of family dinners my mom came to meet Lindsay’s parents and now she casually talks about them as in-laws. I’ve never had to have a conversation with them but it is accepted and I’m happy about that.
Who were your role models growing up? What tv shows/movies allowed you to feel seen?
Anything Tumblr! Honestly, Tumblr and Youtube were the start of me being able to normalize and see lesbians in a way that wasn’t so sexualized. I think that’s what’s great about TikTok too is you can see a lot of lesbian couples and they’re highlighted in ways that aren’t just overtly sexual. Like, we’re just having dinner and we’re just living together and it’s not sex every day like people think, it’s just casual and it’s our life and we have a dog and we have an apartment. I think Tumblr was a Gateway into that community because It was constant long-distance lesbian relationships all over my Tumblr. And I would probably say the L Word obvious gay go to. The only negative thing about the L Word is that it lacked diversity severely. But at the time it was the only thing out.
What is some advice that you would give to young kids who are maybe struggling with their sexuality? Advice for the future for them?
Don’t rush it! I feel like a lot of young kids see so many of us now and we are becoming more normalized to where they are feeling more comfortable and accepting that within themselves but I try to explain it in a situation where just make sure that you’re in a safe space. I don’t want a lot of the younger kids to be kicked out of the house, because I’m not saying don’t accept yourself or don’t know who you are but at the same time I also don’t want you to be homeless because your family didn’t accept you. Make sure you’re in a safe space, going to college is going to be a great experience because you get to be whoever you want to be. Just getting out of the house and turning 18 being able to be independent. I would say wait until you’re independent where you can really have time to figure out who you are without being scared of what anyone else is going to think. For a lot of kids, college is that route where they can go and finally be themselves.
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